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Post by KateJaneway on Jan 24, 2011 17:24:29 GMT -5
Urg, I loathe this topic. I got married when I was 19 after knowing the schmuck for a year and a half... Needless to say I think it is absolutely retarded (yes... I said retarded, Don't make me italicize it.) to get married SO soon after meeting. Sure you could have found the one... he may turn out to be Prince Charming with the freaking white horse and all, but seriously what is wrong with developing a deep relationship and setting a strong foundation for love first? Just because you're 'in love' what makes you sooooo sure you know who they are. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. AND... hold on to your pantyhose... So say it is real love. Real true love like in the movies. What is SO wrong with waiting... six months or a year? Your 'strong true love' will still be there right? Some kind of time frame to get to know one another? For some religious peeps, I know it's an excuse to have sex without feeling guilty. Yes it happens. I was one of them. Great foundation, right? *raises eyebrow* Let's say once you jumped the gun and got married in one, two, three months and you never talked about kids or religion or God forbid you come to find out they're a LIBERAL! Do you see what I mean???At the same time that it doesn't matter it does. A lot. My marriage ended because I refused to listen in the beginning, if I had I never would have married him. So JF, vent all you want. It's d**n retarded! Oops, I said it again.  |
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Post by Mara Wildman on Jan 24, 2011 18:52:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry that your marriage didn't work out, KJ. That doesn't mean that everyone who gets married quickly is being stupid. Not everyone who gets married fast is just itching for sex, either. Not everyone jumps into it without discussing important matters. Josh & I didn't just decide to get married and go do it. We spent many nights having deep conversations about what we've been through, what we learned from it, and what we want to do with our lives and why. We also spent many hours in marriage counseling a couple months before the wedding. I know my parents did the same. My mom explained that to me when I asked her why she and Dad got married so soon.
I'm not angry, just a bit irritated, but I'm not going to stand here and be insulted just because your experience was different than mine.
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jan 24, 2011 19:00:03 GMT -5
ok....this seems to be getting a little bit out of hand. Mara, I don't believe KJ was trying to insult you. She was simply giving her opinion based on her experience....the same way you did. And in all fairness, it's not even fair to believe she's thinking about you, because you and your husband knew each other long before you ever got together.
Both of you have valid points. I was just trying to say that I thought it was too fast. Especially for a second marriage. He should have learned with the first one.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jan 24, 2011 19:03:26 GMT -5
I was just pointing out what is sooooo wrong with waiting, and reasons some do get married.... and it happens. Which is why I have my own views.
I didn't say anything about your marriage. It may be fine. Like I said it may work out.
The fact that your irritated by what I said is only because it perhaps touch on something sensitive??? If you're not one of 'those' marriages then why be irritated?
Congrats! Your relationship works!
Some don't. It was my opinion. Not yours.
I did not point my finger at you.
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Post by Mara Wildman on Jan 24, 2011 19:11:46 GMT -5
I only felt like I was included in your view because at first you didn't say that *some* people are retarded. You said that it was retarded to marry so soon after meeting. It makes it sound like it encompasses everyone under the category of short courtships. Irritation gone now. Thank you for clearing that up  Edit: I read your post for a 3rd time, and do see where you said stuff about *some* people. My bad. |
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Post by KateJaneway on Jan 24, 2011 19:16:12 GMT -5
No worries...
Ha ha ha, just remind me never to attend to anything political with you there. It appears it would NOT be a good thing.
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jan 24, 2011 19:18:42 GMT -5
Ok seriously guys....all I was really looking for was a "Nate's an idiot.....Should have snatched you up when he had the chance......His loss."
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Post by KateJaneway on Jan 24, 2011 19:19:51 GMT -5
Awe, Nate is an idiot! In fact, he's a retard. He sould have snatched you up when he had the chance!!
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Post by Mara Wildman on Jan 24, 2011 19:20:29 GMT -5
lol sorry, JF... Nate's an idiot... Better?
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jan 24, 2011 19:23:16 GMT -5
Much better!!!!!! Thank YOU!!!!
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Post by Mel on Jan 24, 2011 22:32:23 GMT -5
Nate and I got engaged that fast. Met in June he asked me in Jan. and we were married in July. Everything gets rushed when you are in the Air Force. Still haven't taken a honeymoon...and now I don't think that is going to happen. HEHEHE  |
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Post by snowbelle23 on Jan 26, 2011 20:59:54 GMT -5
Jumping in on the topic of relationships and such i had a dream last night that has me in a romatic depression,it was about my ex-boyfriend who i happen to still be good friends with,in the dream we had a beautifull wedding and then it flashed three years in the future and we had a beautifull three year old daughter.the crappy part is that he still loves me and has asked me to marry him many times,he says that he will wait forever and that there is no one else for him but me and i wish i could feel the same but my feelings for him are not romantic at all,i love him like a brother now,when i think back now i cant even remember why we split to begin with it was over somthing stupid i think..i must be the bigest fool on earth!! i could have allready had my little family if i had not been so stupid..Blaaa blaa blaa i hate romance!!
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Post by Mara Wildman on Jan 26, 2011 21:35:23 GMT -5
Oh, don't get discouraged, Nicole! I've actually been through that same situation (only difference was that I always remember why we broke up and he's long over me now). Have you told him how you feel? It could make you feel better if he'd stop telling you he loves you. It may be hard, but if that doesn't work I suggest putting a little distance between you two for a while. You don't have to ignore him completely, but a little space could help. In my situation I broke up with him and he kept begging me to take him back and kept saying how he loved me. We started fighting because of it and one day finally decided to stop fighting. We were OK after that, but we didn't talk for a couple months. By that time he was able to think of me as just a friend.
Again, this is just a suggestion. I don't know just how similar or different your situation is to mine.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jan 27, 2011 10:50:03 GMT -5
Whoot!!!
Done with this class!!!!!
Ugh, onto math Monday. :/
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Post by Mel on Jan 27, 2011 11:14:34 GMT -5
Thats great! How many more do you have left?
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