I need some advice!

[Mara Wildman]

OMG, I can't believe I was so stupid...

I asked one of my friends (Melissa) that I don't really want in my wedding to be a bridesmaid... I felt obligated to ask her because she's a former roommate and she says I'm her best friend and she wants me to be the maid of honor in her wedding (whenever that'll be cuz she doesn't have a boyfriend right now).

The thing is that she's annoying. She talks about the same things all the time (as in, what happened at work --she works at a nursing home--, what people said --and I don't know these ppl--, and everything's usually the same and she goes on forever). The biggest issue is that she's very clingy. I can so see her sticking by my side during the whole thing (especially the reception) and talking to me about random stuff. If I talk to other ppl more she'll feel neglected. I tend to feel bad for her because she's a little retarded (though I'd guess it's less than ten percent).

What do you think I should do? I've already thought of another good friend of mine (Carlyssia) i'd like to ask, but my excuse to Melissa would only work if the other girl has never been a bridesmaid. Melissa hasn't been in a wedding, but will be in March or so for another friend. So if Carlyssia hasn't been one then Melissa should accept my excuse in saying that I want to make it fair to Carlyssia. But if she has been in a wedding I'm outta ideas.

Suggestions?

[Janeway Forever]

My suggestion is to not lie. Lying only hurts people. And don't make up excuses. It's your wedding. Your wedding party should be composed of people whom you love and are close to. Those who stand up with you is a very personal issue. It should be those who are closest to you. No other feelings, obligations, or ideas should interfere.

It's slightly more difficult because you've already asked her. But a little tact and smoothing over and you'll be fine.

[KateJaneway]

Yeah I'm with JF.

Don't lie. Can't you have more than one bridesmaid? I had three when I got married. I don't think there is a limit. Remember that you did already ask her...so expect some hurt feelings.

[Mara Wildman]

Thanks for your input, guys. Along with input from other friends I think I know what I might do.

BTW, I have 5 bridesmaids including my MOH. My fiance's two sisters, my sister, my moh, and my last friend (whoever it ends up being).

I am going to drop Melissa as my bridesmaid, but will put her elsewhere in the wedding where she'd feel useful and important. However, I've got another problem. When Josh and I moved the wedding back a day (only time the chapel was available that weekend) it put in jeopardy the ability for the best man to be there. He has finals the next day and he lives in Cali. The wedding's in Oklahoma, ending at 10 PM. Including him there are 5 groomsmen. I want things to be even, so when I tell Carlyssia I want her to be a bridesmaid I'll have to tell her it's conditional on whether or not Greg can be at the wedding. I know that she could take the disappointment if Greg can't be there much better than Melissa can, so I guess it works for the best anyway.