Post by Captain Malfoy on Jul 20, 2009 0:29:07 GMT -5
I do believe in higher powers... and like our friends on Voyager, I have continued to discover and experiance new things that help me rethink my way of life and strive to better myself... so if you don't mind I want to share this with you... about the passing of my Grandmother Ruth Dickson.
Sunday night, I was doing my best to get midnight tickets to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Before I could buy them, they were sold out. I tried everywhere, but because I waited so long, there was no luck. I was so angry and I went to bed angry. I cursed the stars to whatever power was listening, demanding to know why, after the crappy year I have been living, why I couldn’t have this one pleasure. Monday morning came and I got my answer. My mom called me in tears telling me my grandmother had passed away. I remember the conversation perfectly:
Me: “Hello?”
Mom: “Cory, baby, Big Mama’s gone”
Me: “What?”
Mom: “Big Mama’s dead, she died this morning, I’m on my way home your Daddy’s behind me to make sure I drive okay.”
Me: “Okay…I…I’ll get dressed”
And we hung up. I was more stunned than anything. However, in stressful situations, I always turn to humor and aloud to myself, I started laughing, shaking my head towards the ceiling “You did it to me again, old lady”. Big Mama always had a bad habit of coming with some big emergency when you had plans. I now knew why I wasn’t able to get the tickets. The gods knew I wouldn’t use them, they were trying to tell me my time was needed else where.
Still having yet to shed my tears, My parents drove to Paris before me and I followed an hour or so afterwards in my own car. When I arrived I aided in preparations to go and speak with the director, Ben Holland, at Bright & Holland Funeral Home. Sitting around the table, my family and I still resorting to humor, making the usual morbid jokes as we always do. One about out Big Mama would leap off the embalming table if we tried putting her in the wrong dress. Once the preparations were made, we were led in to see her and I being the largest of us all, was the last through the door…then it hit me.
To see her laying there, cold, stiff, lifeless. I knew my Big Mama wasn’t there anymore. I kept waiting for her to turn and smile at me and say “There’s my baby” or acknowledge my brother, her favorite out of all of us, or complain that it was cold, something…but nothing…and the more I waited the more I began to hurt and as we began to leave the room, I couldn’t move…all I could do was break. The tears came, following like water from a busted faucet and my legs gave out, but thankfully my father was there to catch me. It hurt so bad to know that she was actually gone and there was nothing in the world I could do to bring her back.
After we left, I was fine we ate dinner and laughed and talked and then my parents and I went home. The next day… Tuesday, the family viewing. We went to Paris, laughed and joked as we always did. Sweated our butts off thanks to the heat. We then received an email from a dear friend of our in Massachusetts named Kat. She told us of this amazing story...
She and her husband couldn’t be here, so as we requested for flowers, she wanted to send two red roses from them both to be placed with my grandmother. She ran out got a prepaid credit card and then called a 1800 number to deliver flowers. The card wouldn’t work and the woman told Kat that she shouldn’t, but considering the situation, she gave Kat the name of a local flouriest in Paris that she could use. Kat thanked the woman up and down and asked her name so she could call back later and give her a good costumer comment call. The woman’s name was Ruthie (my grandmothers name was Ruth). Kat then called the other flouriest in Paris and once again, the card didn’t work…
Kat by now was crying so hard and the woman on the other end told Kat that she would go a head and send the roses and if the card still didn’t work, she would bill her for them instead. Kat thanked her asked her for her name so she could do as she was going to for the pervious lady…her name…was Ruth. Yesterday (Saturday) I learned that Kat received her bill as well as a note from Ruth simply saying “I thought you might want this” It was a clipping of Big Mama’s obituary inside.
By six o’clock, we were ready. Heading back to the funeral home, we went inside where a few family and friends gathered. Big Mama was laying in her silver casket. Her hair brushed out of her eyes just how she liked it. Wrapped in a baby blue dress she looked so beautiful. I was fine…My mom on the other hand finally broke, running back out the door shouting “I can’t do this!”
My father and the rest of the family followed after her, she cried in my fathers arms for nearly fifteen minutes before the rest of us gathered around her…and no matter what any of them did, she couldn’t stop…that was until I made mention of my cousin Cody falling on a five inch concrete pole in the parking lot, nearly turning himself into a human pogo stick. That got her to laughing. Going back inside, we each took our turns, saying goodbye and then left to make the final preparations.
Wednesday, The Funeral.
We all gathered at the cemetery for a simple grave side service. The preacher Big Mama requested was a little long winded, but soon enough we got around to the music. The CD was one that I personally burned. I had triple checked it before I left. My brother knew his sound equipment well, however when he put the CD in, it didn’t work. No matter what we did, it didn’t work. So instead, Lily, who twenty years ago, started working for my Grandparents, taking care of my grandfather until he died and then continued on with my Big Mama becoming more than just her house keeper, but her life companion and best friend, took the mic and began to sing. I personally was so amazed, I had never heard Lily sing so beautifully before. The Preacher spoke and then we each took our turn. Stepping up to the pedestal, I attempted to tell a story of a moment I shared with my Big Mama, that I never told anyone about, that Big Mama made our little secret, but I couldn’t, I broke so hard, my father and two other people had to carry me to a chair. I’d like to share it with you now…
One day, I was upset beyond belief and had hopped on my bike and road to my Big Mama, hurrying through the door, she was sitting in her chair watching one of her many shows that she loved, but quickly turned her attention to me. She could tell I was upset and asked me what was wrong in her own way. “C.J., what’s got your tit in a ringer?” and I began to explain to her with tears coming to my eyes. Without saying a word, she stood from her chair the best she could, went into her kitchen and returned with two cokes (some in the fridge and the at least two to three 12 to 24 packs under her bed, unless one of us kids raided them) and in her own words told me to drink it and let it all go. To this very moment, many years later, I still cannot recall what had gotten me so upset, but it led to one of the rare intimate moments that I shared with her. I forgot about the bad, focused on the good
Once we were finished, we each took turns, placing a red rose into the casket with her, then my brother took a WWE Championship belt, with “Big Mama” engraved in the name plate and placed it in around her waist…fitting…she loved wrestling so much…and was the Champion of Grandmothers and in her eyes, the Grandmother of Champions… and I placed a can of cola in with her before popping another…sharing one last drink with my Big Mama… afterwards, my brother Robert…and our “adopted brothers” in Big Mama’s eyes… Josh, Judd, Little Wayne and my cousin Cody carried her to her final resting place…
Still today…it hurts… each day a little less…I keep waiting to wake up and find out it was all a dream… or it was some mistake and it wasn’t my Big Mama that we buried… I never thought I would live to see a life without her… but now… I have to adjust…
A little more about her... Big Mama did her best for everyone she could...she adopted children like people do stray pets...when my brothers and I would bring friends over to meet her...she always said "Come here and meet your Big Mama" followed by warmest hugs you could ever imagine. If I were to take all of you to meet her if she were still here... she would become your Big Mama too... and she wouldn't have it any other way...it's either...she's "Big Mama" or you suffer the wrath of her walking stick. LoL...
Thank you my friends for letting me share this with you… even if it seems I left gaps or was a little long winded myself… it helps me to get it out… even as I cry now reliving it… I feel as if more of the weight is taken from my shoulders…
here's a link to her online obit... you can put a face on the amazing woman we all called Big Mama..
www.brighthollandfuneralhome.com/obituaries/tribute.html?url=http://stei-23977.tributes.com/show/Ruth-Dickson-86340833
Sunday night, I was doing my best to get midnight tickets to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Before I could buy them, they were sold out. I tried everywhere, but because I waited so long, there was no luck. I was so angry and I went to bed angry. I cursed the stars to whatever power was listening, demanding to know why, after the crappy year I have been living, why I couldn’t have this one pleasure. Monday morning came and I got my answer. My mom called me in tears telling me my grandmother had passed away. I remember the conversation perfectly:
Me: “Hello?”
Mom: “Cory, baby, Big Mama’s gone”
Me: “What?”
Mom: “Big Mama’s dead, she died this morning, I’m on my way home your Daddy’s behind me to make sure I drive okay.”
Me: “Okay…I…I’ll get dressed”
And we hung up. I was more stunned than anything. However, in stressful situations, I always turn to humor and aloud to myself, I started laughing, shaking my head towards the ceiling “You did it to me again, old lady”. Big Mama always had a bad habit of coming with some big emergency when you had plans. I now knew why I wasn’t able to get the tickets. The gods knew I wouldn’t use them, they were trying to tell me my time was needed else where.
Still having yet to shed my tears, My parents drove to Paris before me and I followed an hour or so afterwards in my own car. When I arrived I aided in preparations to go and speak with the director, Ben Holland, at Bright & Holland Funeral Home. Sitting around the table, my family and I still resorting to humor, making the usual morbid jokes as we always do. One about out Big Mama would leap off the embalming table if we tried putting her in the wrong dress. Once the preparations were made, we were led in to see her and I being the largest of us all, was the last through the door…then it hit me.
To see her laying there, cold, stiff, lifeless. I knew my Big Mama wasn’t there anymore. I kept waiting for her to turn and smile at me and say “There’s my baby” or acknowledge my brother, her favorite out of all of us, or complain that it was cold, something…but nothing…and the more I waited the more I began to hurt and as we began to leave the room, I couldn’t move…all I could do was break. The tears came, following like water from a busted faucet and my legs gave out, but thankfully my father was there to catch me. It hurt so bad to know that she was actually gone and there was nothing in the world I could do to bring her back.
After we left, I was fine we ate dinner and laughed and talked and then my parents and I went home. The next day… Tuesday, the family viewing. We went to Paris, laughed and joked as we always did. Sweated our butts off thanks to the heat. We then received an email from a dear friend of our in Massachusetts named Kat. She told us of this amazing story...
She and her husband couldn’t be here, so as we requested for flowers, she wanted to send two red roses from them both to be placed with my grandmother. She ran out got a prepaid credit card and then called a 1800 number to deliver flowers. The card wouldn’t work and the woman told Kat that she shouldn’t, but considering the situation, she gave Kat the name of a local flouriest in Paris that she could use. Kat thanked the woman up and down and asked her name so she could call back later and give her a good costumer comment call. The woman’s name was Ruthie (my grandmothers name was Ruth). Kat then called the other flouriest in Paris and once again, the card didn’t work…
Kat by now was crying so hard and the woman on the other end told Kat that she would go a head and send the roses and if the card still didn’t work, she would bill her for them instead. Kat thanked her asked her for her name so she could do as she was going to for the pervious lady…her name…was Ruth. Yesterday (Saturday) I learned that Kat received her bill as well as a note from Ruth simply saying “I thought you might want this” It was a clipping of Big Mama’s obituary inside.
By six o’clock, we were ready. Heading back to the funeral home, we went inside where a few family and friends gathered. Big Mama was laying in her silver casket. Her hair brushed out of her eyes just how she liked it. Wrapped in a baby blue dress she looked so beautiful. I was fine…My mom on the other hand finally broke, running back out the door shouting “I can’t do this!”
My father and the rest of the family followed after her, she cried in my fathers arms for nearly fifteen minutes before the rest of us gathered around her…and no matter what any of them did, she couldn’t stop…that was until I made mention of my cousin Cody falling on a five inch concrete pole in the parking lot, nearly turning himself into a human pogo stick. That got her to laughing. Going back inside, we each took our turns, saying goodbye and then left to make the final preparations.
Wednesday, The Funeral.
We all gathered at the cemetery for a simple grave side service. The preacher Big Mama requested was a little long winded, but soon enough we got around to the music. The CD was one that I personally burned. I had triple checked it before I left. My brother knew his sound equipment well, however when he put the CD in, it didn’t work. No matter what we did, it didn’t work. So instead, Lily, who twenty years ago, started working for my Grandparents, taking care of my grandfather until he died and then continued on with my Big Mama becoming more than just her house keeper, but her life companion and best friend, took the mic and began to sing. I personally was so amazed, I had never heard Lily sing so beautifully before. The Preacher spoke and then we each took our turn. Stepping up to the pedestal, I attempted to tell a story of a moment I shared with my Big Mama, that I never told anyone about, that Big Mama made our little secret, but I couldn’t, I broke so hard, my father and two other people had to carry me to a chair. I’d like to share it with you now…
One day, I was upset beyond belief and had hopped on my bike and road to my Big Mama, hurrying through the door, she was sitting in her chair watching one of her many shows that she loved, but quickly turned her attention to me. She could tell I was upset and asked me what was wrong in her own way. “C.J., what’s got your tit in a ringer?” and I began to explain to her with tears coming to my eyes. Without saying a word, she stood from her chair the best she could, went into her kitchen and returned with two cokes (some in the fridge and the at least two to three 12 to 24 packs under her bed, unless one of us kids raided them) and in her own words told me to drink it and let it all go. To this very moment, many years later, I still cannot recall what had gotten me so upset, but it led to one of the rare intimate moments that I shared with her. I forgot about the bad, focused on the good
Once we were finished, we each took turns, placing a red rose into the casket with her, then my brother took a WWE Championship belt, with “Big Mama” engraved in the name plate and placed it in around her waist…fitting…she loved wrestling so much…and was the Champion of Grandmothers and in her eyes, the Grandmother of Champions… and I placed a can of cola in with her before popping another…sharing one last drink with my Big Mama… afterwards, my brother Robert…and our “adopted brothers” in Big Mama’s eyes… Josh, Judd, Little Wayne and my cousin Cody carried her to her final resting place…
Still today…it hurts… each day a little less…I keep waiting to wake up and find out it was all a dream… or it was some mistake and it wasn’t my Big Mama that we buried… I never thought I would live to see a life without her… but now… I have to adjust…
A little more about her... Big Mama did her best for everyone she could...she adopted children like people do stray pets...when my brothers and I would bring friends over to meet her...she always said "Come here and meet your Big Mama" followed by warmest hugs you could ever imagine. If I were to take all of you to meet her if she were still here... she would become your Big Mama too... and she wouldn't have it any other way...it's either...she's "Big Mama" or you suffer the wrath of her walking stick. LoL...
Thank you my friends for letting me share this with you… even if it seems I left gaps or was a little long winded myself… it helps me to get it out… even as I cry now reliving it… I feel as if more of the weight is taken from my shoulders…
here's a link to her online obit... you can put a face on the amazing woman we all called Big Mama..
www.brighthollandfuneralhome.com/obituaries/tribute.html?url=http://stei-23977.tributes.com/show/Ruth-Dickson-86340833
I'm so sorry to hear this, hon. She definitely sounds like a wonderful person and I can tell you miss her a lot. I am a religious person, and I hope it's ok that I keep you and your family in my prayers.