Post by Janeway Forever on May 6, 2007 19:50:02 GMT -5
Another fun list I stole!! Feel free to add to it.
Voyager Pranks
1. Delete all references to seven years of alien encounters, hide Neelix and Seven, program Earth to show at all windows and viewscreens, and treat Janeway like a mental patient.
2. Tell Chakotay that the captain "wants you in her quarters on the double and at the ready."
3. Re-program the computer to call Janeway "Snookums."
4. Cross program Janeway's Victorian holo-novel with Torres' holo-novel "Epic of Kahless."
5. Hide Neelix's chef's toque.
6. Reprogram the computer to play "The Song That Never Ends" every time the ship drops out of warp.
7. Tell Neelix to, "take the cheese to Sickbay."
8. Take apart a shuttlecraft and reassemble it in the Observation Lounge.
9. Tell Paris the Delaney sisters are looking for him.
10. Put all of Janeway's hairpins in a chain.
11. Reconfigure Seven's regeneration bay so she transports to a different area of the ship every time she steps in.
12. Replace phasers with phaser-shaped water pistols.
13. Rig the computer so that it sends subliminal messages to the crew along the lines of "Janeway and Chakotay for ever."
14. Hide behind Neelix' saucepans and say, "This is the Leola root. Please release me into Deck Twelve because I really fancy the nebula gas."
15. Set the computer to reach Red Alert every time Janeway orders coffee from her replicator, and have the computer announce the number of coffees Janeway has ordered since entering the Delta Quadrant.
16. Hide the crew and the ECH sub-routines while the EMH (Doctor) is deactivated. Then have a friendly ship pretend to be angry and fire fake weapons at Voyager.
17. While sitting at helm say: ''Uh oh! Looks like there's a third Caretaker. We're now in the Gamma Quadrant!''
18. Alternate the commands for warp and impulse, so increasing impulse command = decrease warp, increasing warp command = decrease impulse, etc.
19. Adjust Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they trade voices.
20. Put a whoopee cushion in Holodoc's chair.
21. Reprogram all the replicators whilst Janeway's sleeping, so that they only serve decaff.
22. "Adjust" Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they're both off-key by 0.1Hz and then suggest that they go to the holodeck and practice with a tuning fork.
23. Alternatively, "adjust" Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they can only speak in song, turning the next Voyager episode into a musical. -- Dave
24. Replace Voyager's computer operating system with Windows 98 and watch as Janeway gets a "general protection fault" when she tries to order a coffee from the replicator and the virus scanner picks Seven up as a virus and tries to erase her.
25. Everyone on board dresses up as Borg and pretend to be in the Collective when Seven wakes up from regeneration.
26. Convince the crew that the warp core has been replaced with a Quantum Slipstream Drive and make it appear on the viewscreen that they are actually in Slipstream, but are getting farther and farther away from Earth without a way to get back to normal space. However, they are actually at impulse.
27. Some anonymous prankster adjusts the holo doc program. Every other time the Doctor appears, the clothes change. (One sleeve longer, a tutu, a romulan, a bathrobe, etc.)
28. Some anonymous prankster adjusts the Holodoc program. Every time the Doctor appears, it's as another member of the crew. Crew barging into sickbay haven't got a clue about who they're talking too.
29. Make everyone on the show completely forget about Kes so that Neelix -- wait, they've already done that one.
30. Intercept Seven's next message to Ops and doodle "Seven of Kim" all over it before sending it back on its way.
31. Slip a note to Paris that the guy in the alien full-body suit is none other than Eddie Van Halen.
32. Reprogram Tuvok's personal holodeck programs so that they are Neelix's children's tales and make Tuvok have to complete the stories before he can leave.
33. Suddenly shout out "Enemy starship off the port bow!" and watch everyone go to red alert and battlestations. Then tell them the ship has been boarded, but keep changing the location of the "intruders."
34. While Seven is regenerating, replace her uniform with one slightly bigger in the bust area, so she thinks they are shrinking.
35. Drug Lt. Torres, let her wake up in the holodeck with a "Jeffries tubemaze" program. Tell her that she was "sleepwalking" again and have her report to engineering.
36. Replace the current wick in Tuvok's meditation lamp with a trick wick that won't blow out.
37. Sneak into Harry's quarters at night and paint Tiresian spots on his face while he sleeps.
38. Alter the "Insurrection Alpha" holoprogram so that, no matter what choices Tom makes, he ends up scrubbing the plasma manifold.
39. Hand Seven a big bowl of M&M's and tell her that Neelix needs her help peeling them, so that he can make chocolate chip cookies.
40. Project random holographic representations of Kes just disappearing around the corners of various ship's corridors.
41. Plant fake journals in select crew members' quarters detailing their sexual encounters with blonde aliens whom they don't remember.
42. Tom Paris, Stuck in slip-stream drive with no girls and only Chakotay and Tuvok for company...scary.
43. Float a raisin in Janeway's coffee and ask her if the ship has a problem with rats.
44. Replace the innards of Chakotay's peyote device with a handshake buzzer.
45. Shave Janeway's head while she's sleeping and then have everyone call her "Ma Capitaine."
46. Convince Harry Kim women really, really love a man in a kilt.
47. Pipe a Paris/Torres rendezvous in the Camero to the bridge.
48. Change landing "Blue Alert" to "Purple Alert" just because purple's my favorite color.
49. Have Neelix give everyone "Dear John" letters from home.
50. Two words: Talent Show II.
51. Secretly replace Seven's Slim-Fast powder with Weightgain Muscle-Maker 2000.
52. Rewire the ship's self-destruct so that the next time Janeway tries to use it, it makes a rude noise and says, "Thank you, Dr. Kavorkian."
53. Tell Neelix his pleeka-rind casserole has come to life and taken over the ship.
54. Tell Tom Paris that B'Elanna Torres' engineer's smock isn't really for tools -- it's a maternity outfit.
55. Hide all the phaser rifles and tell Janeway that aliens have boarded the ship.
56. Have Torres' weekly diagnostic of the Doctor include examining all of his added subroutines for defects...or unexpected power surges.
57. Tell Seven that Kes has a new contract with Paramount at twice Seven's salary.
58. Tell Harry that he's been assigned to instruct Seven in CPR, and tell Seven he's teaching her hand-to-hand combat techniques.
59. Replace Neelix's jars of Talaxian spices with Play Doh.
60. Play scavenger hunt with Tuvok's Kalto pieces in Hydroponics.
61. Rig Voyager's computer so that it secretly sends out the repeating message, "Hi! We love it when alien races fire at us without warning and try to take over our ship!"
62. Take a bite of Neelix' food, secretly pop two dry Alka Selzer and then writhe about on the floor while foaming at the mouth.
63. Make the sound of tearing cloth whenever Seven bends over or sits down.
Voyager Pranks
1. Delete all references to seven years of alien encounters, hide Neelix and Seven, program Earth to show at all windows and viewscreens, and treat Janeway like a mental patient.
2. Tell Chakotay that the captain "wants you in her quarters on the double and at the ready."
3. Re-program the computer to call Janeway "Snookums."
4. Cross program Janeway's Victorian holo-novel with Torres' holo-novel "Epic of Kahless."
5. Hide Neelix's chef's toque.
6. Reprogram the computer to play "The Song That Never Ends" every time the ship drops out of warp.
7. Tell Neelix to, "take the cheese to Sickbay."
8. Take apart a shuttlecraft and reassemble it in the Observation Lounge.
9. Tell Paris the Delaney sisters are looking for him.
10. Put all of Janeway's hairpins in a chain.
11. Reconfigure Seven's regeneration bay so she transports to a different area of the ship every time she steps in.
12. Replace phasers with phaser-shaped water pistols.
13. Rig the computer so that it sends subliminal messages to the crew along the lines of "Janeway and Chakotay for ever."
14. Hide behind Neelix' saucepans and say, "This is the Leola root. Please release me into Deck Twelve because I really fancy the nebula gas."
15. Set the computer to reach Red Alert every time Janeway orders coffee from her replicator, and have the computer announce the number of coffees Janeway has ordered since entering the Delta Quadrant.
16. Hide the crew and the ECH sub-routines while the EMH (Doctor) is deactivated. Then have a friendly ship pretend to be angry and fire fake weapons at Voyager.
17. While sitting at helm say: ''Uh oh! Looks like there's a third Caretaker. We're now in the Gamma Quadrant!''
18. Alternate the commands for warp and impulse, so increasing impulse command = decrease warp, increasing warp command = decrease impulse, etc.
19. Adjust Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they trade voices.
20. Put a whoopee cushion in Holodoc's chair.
21. Reprogram all the replicators whilst Janeway's sleeping, so that they only serve decaff.
22. "Adjust" Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they're both off-key by 0.1Hz and then suggest that they go to the holodeck and practice with a tuning fork.
23. Alternatively, "adjust" Seven's vocal processor and the Doctor's audio subroutines so that they can only speak in song, turning the next Voyager episode into a musical. -- Dave
24. Replace Voyager's computer operating system with Windows 98 and watch as Janeway gets a "general protection fault" when she tries to order a coffee from the replicator and the virus scanner picks Seven up as a virus and tries to erase her.
25. Everyone on board dresses up as Borg and pretend to be in the Collective when Seven wakes up from regeneration.
26. Convince the crew that the warp core has been replaced with a Quantum Slipstream Drive and make it appear on the viewscreen that they are actually in Slipstream, but are getting farther and farther away from Earth without a way to get back to normal space. However, they are actually at impulse.
27. Some anonymous prankster adjusts the holo doc program. Every other time the Doctor appears, the clothes change. (One sleeve longer, a tutu, a romulan, a bathrobe, etc.)
28. Some anonymous prankster adjusts the Holodoc program. Every time the Doctor appears, it's as another member of the crew. Crew barging into sickbay haven't got a clue about who they're talking too.
29. Make everyone on the show completely forget about Kes so that Neelix -- wait, they've already done that one.
30. Intercept Seven's next message to Ops and doodle "Seven of Kim" all over it before sending it back on its way.
31. Slip a note to Paris that the guy in the alien full-body suit is none other than Eddie Van Halen.
32. Reprogram Tuvok's personal holodeck programs so that they are Neelix's children's tales and make Tuvok have to complete the stories before he can leave.
33. Suddenly shout out "Enemy starship off the port bow!" and watch everyone go to red alert and battlestations. Then tell them the ship has been boarded, but keep changing the location of the "intruders."
34. While Seven is regenerating, replace her uniform with one slightly bigger in the bust area, so she thinks they are shrinking.
35. Drug Lt. Torres, let her wake up in the holodeck with a "Jeffries tubemaze" program. Tell her that she was "sleepwalking" again and have her report to engineering.
36. Replace the current wick in Tuvok's meditation lamp with a trick wick that won't blow out.
37. Sneak into Harry's quarters at night and paint Tiresian spots on his face while he sleeps.
38. Alter the "Insurrection Alpha" holoprogram so that, no matter what choices Tom makes, he ends up scrubbing the plasma manifold.
39. Hand Seven a big bowl of M&M's and tell her that Neelix needs her help peeling them, so that he can make chocolate chip cookies.
40. Project random holographic representations of Kes just disappearing around the corners of various ship's corridors.
41. Plant fake journals in select crew members' quarters detailing their sexual encounters with blonde aliens whom they don't remember.
42. Tom Paris, Stuck in slip-stream drive with no girls and only Chakotay and Tuvok for company...scary.
43. Float a raisin in Janeway's coffee and ask her if the ship has a problem with rats.
44. Replace the innards of Chakotay's peyote device with a handshake buzzer.
45. Shave Janeway's head while she's sleeping and then have everyone call her "Ma Capitaine."
46. Convince Harry Kim women really, really love a man in a kilt.
47. Pipe a Paris/Torres rendezvous in the Camero to the bridge.
48. Change landing "Blue Alert" to "Purple Alert" just because purple's my favorite color.
49. Have Neelix give everyone "Dear John" letters from home.
50. Two words: Talent Show II.
51. Secretly replace Seven's Slim-Fast powder with Weightgain Muscle-Maker 2000.
52. Rewire the ship's self-destruct so that the next time Janeway tries to use it, it makes a rude noise and says, "Thank you, Dr. Kavorkian."
53. Tell Neelix his pleeka-rind casserole has come to life and taken over the ship.
54. Tell Tom Paris that B'Elanna Torres' engineer's smock isn't really for tools -- it's a maternity outfit.
55. Hide all the phaser rifles and tell Janeway that aliens have boarded the ship.
56. Have Torres' weekly diagnostic of the Doctor include examining all of his added subroutines for defects...or unexpected power surges.
57. Tell Seven that Kes has a new contract with Paramount at twice Seven's salary.
58. Tell Harry that he's been assigned to instruct Seven in CPR, and tell Seven he's teaching her hand-to-hand combat techniques.
59. Replace Neelix's jars of Talaxian spices with Play Doh.
60. Play scavenger hunt with Tuvok's Kalto pieces in Hydroponics.
61. Rig Voyager's computer so that it secretly sends out the repeating message, "Hi! We love it when alien races fire at us without warning and try to take over our ship!"
62. Take a bite of Neelix' food, secretly pop two dry Alka Selzer and then writhe about on the floor while foaming at the mouth.
63. Make the sound of tearing cloth whenever Seven bends over or sits down.
