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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:16:49 GMT -5
Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:18:24 GMT -5
Rachel: You know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend.
Ben: But you're not anymore. Because you were on a break.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:18:49 GMT -5
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you?
Chandler: It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:20:49 GMT -5
Chandler: You can't come in.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked.
Ross: What?
Chandler: Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked.
Ross: Why does *anyone* have to be naked?
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:24:04 GMT -5
Phoebe: [Rachel's hormones are raging] She's going through her fourth month of pregnancy. Remember when I was in my fourth month?
Monica: Yes, that was the Evander Holyfield period. You know, you were so hard up, you even came on to me.
Phoebe: Did not!
Monica: Yes, you did.
[puts on a seductive look]
Monica: Listen, Phoebe, I could have had you if I had wanted you.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah? Well, bring it on.
[blows Monica a kiss]
Rachel: Guys! Stop it! This is even turning me on!
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:24:57 GMT -5
Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet?
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jump out.
Rachel: Oh my God, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think... listen, listen.
Rachel: Huh?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and
caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues it as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
Rachel: If that happens now, you're going to feel SO bad.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:26:27 GMT -5
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:27:40 GMT -5
Chandler: I love you.
Monica: I love you too.
Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now?
Monica: Um... no?
Chandler: Uh... yeah, yeah, me neither.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:28:39 GMT -5
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I feel great.
Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:29:05 GMT -5
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:30:06 GMT -5
Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:31:41 GMT -5
Joey: Hey, I got something for you.
Chandler: What's this?
Joey: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told you but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:32:34 GMT -5
Ross: I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
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Post by Janeway Forever on Jul 2, 2007 3:34:27 GMT -5
Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.
Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.
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Post by KateJaneway on Jul 2, 2007 3:35:33 GMT -5
Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Phoebe: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
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